When for company one has one's body.
Its center filled up with the desire to see.
The desire to see
Gradually which is how I was made.
A still flower, floating
Laughing and crying the horizon of rest.
And then after a while the self protests
Hypoxia, notices you falling asleep.
Then passes by way of the flood
From knowing by nothing
To experience, what was there, what I could
In the unfairness of it drive into the nose.
And this panic the world could sustain
Bowed, broken comfort, the splash
Of each misting wave.
As accordingly when I was eyes, and sun, slamming
(Whether I meant to or not).
As accordingly when I re-emerged,
Gasping on the surface by a nearly perfect hill.
And in on went time, on down the days,
In the bare and bleached crust of the earth
The ominous cool of the dream.
And that was it though I hardly trusted it
Chewing attention while the wind slapped my hood.
And the air all pollened, everywhere,
At the limit of structure a carapace
In the weather's infrequent promise.
And then the oddly bloodless purple of each
Available feeling tried on then tossed away.
There it is, we imagine it
In whatever space between trinkets.
Then disgusted again the nested infinities—
One's body one's thoughts—
Or the particular charm of the double
Human a structure of wood.
And I talked to it
As though peering half-naked around a bathroom door
(Which at the time seemed so important)—
A musical thinking, a face
To help remember, a face
Sourced equally at the speed of thought.
And out of the wind the sun,
Then less of it, by brutal
Hum the underpass reflecting all night
In memory all my dreams.
And I could feel the energy of that
Permeating space, that something
Sound I tried to command
Into sense to make anything happen.
Feeling actual, feeling wise, feeling
At the mouth of unnatural experience
The pleasure of relief (release).
As if the sun were alive, the flower-
Made world to be swallowed
(Thinking body, thinking mind,
Thinking body) defiant,
In the end possessed by no
Then new again
In dark carved beginning
Like a house swarmed with love and
Promise (come in or out).