P.T.S.D.

I’ve been trying to figure out what hallucination makes the most sense…
Is this a 12 year F.B.I investigation or a 30 year sentence? 
Has my anxiety gone paranoid pushed over the edge?
Can I trust the commentary running thru my head? 
They sound allot like familiar voices
I sleep on the ceiling while staring at my ghost and…
It’s tragic how they all drowned so close to the surface
My pains so deep it filled a tear dropped ocean/
While waves of mask,.. cover up emotions
I’ve had to question myself before I got any closer
who would mind if I lost my mind??
And second myself to go with ration, this time/ 
while swimming against the tide, watching reason float by
With good reason…
My thoughts are squeezing me through questions
Leading me to more questionable steps through the thought process
With a load on my chest
I dilate into an inner dimension to implode my stress
And never find my way back out.. /
Everything keeps shrinking with more space for doubt
So Truth no longer holds any relevance as Truth…
It lied its way into self delusions, 
sleighing confusion, while trapped in an illusionists hands
Burning down reality with matchstick men../
MORE? invasive thoughts, MORE? sleepless nights, MORE? complex dialogue
I translate in flight..and stumble through the darkness 
I fall on my tongue wrapped in aluminum foil and… microwaved my tonsils
They’re  buried them in the throat of the unknown convo’s 
The silence is golden…../
My arch nemesis holds me, 
like a knife in my back ,I sharpen fingers to cut in facts 
and I’m just sane enough to be crazy..
But a half step away from being lost in the haze of, 
complete mental damnation but at this stage, it’s about the same
I think I slipped through the crack and and got crushed by my sanity